Saturday, October 25, 2008

The E-Mail Saga of Casey & Earle

A few days ago a friend of mine directed me to a Craigslist post for the following rug: 



Yes, my friends. A Pac-Man rug. It also doubles as a Pac-Man game! At nineteen dollars, I had to have it. 


What I didn't know is that the man selling it was crazy, and that a simple copy-and-paste error would turn the process of buying a crazy trinket off of craigslist into three days of threatening voicemails and craaaaaaazy e-mails. 

Presented to you,with all of it's original formatting intact, is...

 The E-Mail Saga of Casey & Earl


Casey Malone to (craigslist e-mail):
Hi!
Is the Pac-Man game still available? I am VERY Interested in it!
Thanks,
Casey
339-2**-0***

A man named Earl calls me, and I tell him I'm interested in picking up the rug. He is skeptical about my sincere interest in the rug, for no reason apparent to me, but tells me that he'll e-mail me with a landmark near his home. Apparently he'll e-mail me a time to be there, and if I am at this landmark, he will direct me to his home. 


Earle does not give me any contact information of his own. 

I receive the e-mail with the location and time.

Earle to me:
THE NEAREST LANDMARK CLOSEST TO MY LOCALE WOULD BE THE WHITE HEN PANTRY

@ 56 RIVER STREET IN 01832
FIND THAT & YOU WILL KNOW HOW TO GET THERE
I WILL CALL YOU AROUND 4PM TOMORROW TO BE SURE WHETHER YOU ARE COMING OR NOT
IF I DON'T REACH YOU: I WILL NOT BE SURPRISED ( AS IT APPEARS TO BE A TREND OF SORTS WITH CALLER FROM CL; PRANKSTER "KIDS" ACTING AS IF THEY WANT TO BUY SOMETHING AND THEN DISAPPEARING LIKE GHOSTS)  NOT TO SAY tHAT THIS WOULD BE
YOU BUT ONE NEVER KNOWS.
THANKS "CASEY"
TALK TO YOU TOMORROW!
SORRY IF I SOUND "SKEPTICAL" BUT THAT'S THE WAY CRAIGSLIST REPLIES TEND TO MAKE YOU.  SKEPTICAL.  ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT SAY THEY'LL "STOP BY" THEY USUALLY DON'T. STRANGE PEOPLE IN A STRANGE WORLD. I THINK SOME SIMPLY REPLY TO ADS BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO REAL LIFE OR FRIENDS AND IT IS
THEIR FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT SOMEHOW.  OH WELL!  NO BIG DEAL. SOME DAY
THEY'LL GROW UP & GET A LIFE.  RIGHT?
HAVE A NICE DAY!


I'm a little confused by this e-mail, but nonetheless want that swank-ass rug. I go about my day, which at the moment involves occasionally checking the craigslist personals section.* One lady posted a really sweet ad about watching movies, going to shows, and playing videogames, which as you may notice is right up my alley. I send her a reply. Except... I don't. Instead of hearing back from a lady, I receive the following e-mail...

Earle to me:
ah, hey dude!
you just sent me an e-mail like it was a personal ad
kinda creepy!!
you had curly hair and glasses sitting next to someone with a light blue top & a straw type cowboy hat on
ah, whats up with that?
i'm a littleconfused and a little creeped out
i don't know why you would reply to my rug/game ad as if it were a personal
i'm a GUY anyways!!
LOL
so: let me know....what's up with that bud?
thanks
Earle


This about sums up my embarrassment. 

Casey Malone to Earle:
Ahhh... this is super awkward.
Basically, I copied and pasted your craigslist e-mail (sale-88481***@craigslist.org) and responded to you.
Then I opened up another ad, THOUGHT THAT I copied and pasted THAT e-mail
address into g-mail, but  I guess my computer never copied it, and just re-pasted your generic craigslist e-mail address into gmail.

Sorry about that, it was definitely not meant to go to you.  I guess it could have been worse?
 Again, sorry. Again, awkward.

-casey-

Earle to me:
yeah whatever..LOL
I just thought it was kinda creepy gettin a pick-up line from another
guy!!
I can imagine how you musta felt when you saw MY e-mail to you about
it!!!
LOL
no damage
BUT.....it was kinda funny
don't worry...I'm secure & I feel safe!!
have a good night
I'll call ya tomorrow


I go to bed, sleeping the sleep of a man who thinks he's getting a Pac-Man rug. The next day, I end up stuck in a meeting until after 4, the very time Earle was supposed to call me. As much as I like Pac-Man, I like my job more, so I didn't answer and instead let it go to voice-mail. 


The message left is angry, ranty, and condemns me for not living up to my "responsibilities" and "the commitment" I made. Earle leaves no number for me to contact him at. He instead promises he'll call me back at 5. I wait for his call, but at 5:15 I decide to head home. 

While on the subway, Earle gets my voice-mail a second time, and does not take kindly to it. He now sounds sad, but still like a nut-bar, and when I hear his second voice-mail that promises a third call at 7, I decide I don't really want to meet this man in a parking lot somewhere by myself. He calls at 7:40. I don't pick up. Earle isn't done with me.

Earle to me:
E-MAILED YOU YESTERDAY WITH WHAT THE PLAN WAS REGARDING YOUR ALLEGED INTEREST IN THE PAC-MAN RUG/BOARD GAME.  I CALLED YOU AT 4:30 ISH AND THEN AGAIN AROUND 5:45 ISH AND THEN AGAIN AT 7:30 ISH.  LEFT CASEY MALONE THREE MESSAGES BECAUSE YOU WOULD NOT PICK UP! SO: SEEING AS YOU DID NOT PICK UP ON THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS: THE BALL LIES IN YOUR COURT.  YOU CAN REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL IF YOU REALLY ARE INTERESTED.
    I AM NOT GOING TO CHASE ANYONE. YOU CONTACTED ME. REMEMBER?  SO NOW I SIT AND WONDER AS TO THE ACTUAL LEGITIMACY OF YOUR INQUIRY.  I GUESS I WILL SIMPLY SIT BACK AND SEE IF THE E-PLY COMES.  IF NOT.  WHATEVER. I WILL NOT BE CALLING AGAIN.  I DID MY PART. X 3! ALL SET.
      TAKE CARE & HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

GOD THIS IS SOOOO TYPICAL OF 50 TO 60 % OF C L REPLIES.
ALL I CAN ASK IS:  "WHY"?
GOD ONLY KNOWS!


Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah. I don't reply to this e-mail. I go to bed. The next morning, I get this...


Earle to me:
next time don't waste my friggin time you fruitcake creep
i called you 4 times the day you CLAIMED you were going to show
WEIRDO!

C.C.: FILED (C.L. HARASSMENT)


It's important to note, he didn't actually CC anyone... he simply typed "C.C." into the e-mail. 
I feel compelled to reply to this.

Casey Malone to Earle:
Earle,

I want to let you know, the reason I didn't pick up is that I was in a meeting at work during your first call. I listened to your voicemail, and found it vaguely threatening and overtly hostile, and decided it was a better idea to not deal with you.

Over the course of 2 more voicemails and a couple more e-mails I was proved correct.

Next time, relax more, and understand that no one is trying to scam you out of a $19 dollar rug.

-Casey-

Then, the final chapter of the saga... 


 Earle  to me:
damn man...you ARE a friggin weirdo
i think you actually WERE trying to pick me up the other day
dude, you ARE scary and i believe you ARE dangerous
DO NOT CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN OR I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CONSIDER IT THREATENING AND WILL IMMEDIATELY SEEK LEGAL REMEDY
1ST WARNING & ONLY WARNING!!!
GO AWAY
FAR FAR AWAY!!!
CREEP!

C.C.: CRAIGSLIST (HARASSMENT/THREATENING/ABUSIVE)


I don't know if there's a moral to the story. But that people still fear the internet enough to type in bold, red courier is god-damn hilarious. 

-casey-

*Yes, this is embarrassing a little, but I wanted to give you guys the full picture, and this is key information. 

2 comments:

Apples said...

I don't think you actually want that rug anyway.

I'm guessing the underside of it is stained in the blood of all the poor saps this psycho has murdered and then buried in his garage.

EARLE said...

SCREW "YOU" CASEY. I AM NOW ON THE PHONE WITH MY LEGAL REPRESENTATIVE WHO DOES ANSWER CALLS. YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM HIM SHORTLY...OK.

I ADVISE YOU TO PICK UP. CREEP.

CC: BLOGGER NANNY