Wizard World: My Haul

So this weekend I worked my way down to Philadelphia to try and get my groove back, Stella style*, after the Beatles: Rock Band. Why Philly? Well, I wanted to check out Wizard World Philadelphia! There were some amazing guests lined up; Kevin Maguire, Steve Dillon, Garth Ennis, EDWARD JAMES OLMOS, and a number of other cool guests. I hadn't been to a hardcore comics con in a long time, so I was pumped.

Unfortunately, after a few hours at the con, I realized; I'm kind of done with this schtick! A lot of things were overpriced, ESPECIALLY anything involving a pro: Alex Maleev wanted $150 for a sketch and would only talk to people through an agent, Kevin Maguire wanted $100 dollars for one of JUST a character's face (though he is an AWESOME dude and talked to, and shared a few awesome Justice League secrets with me), and Edward James Olmos wanted $50 for an autograph, and $20 just to take a photo with him!

Not everyone was quite as demanding; the delightful Amanda Conner was selling head sketches for $40, and J. G. Jones, too, was doing them at a reasonably rate. Not surprisingly, though, they were both fully booked for sketches for the weekend.

BUT, I am still really happy I came, as I got to talk to some awesome creators, and I ended up buying a TON of art from independent creators. Here's what I got:

I met Joe Dunn from one of my favorite strips, Joe Loves Crappy Movies, who I didn't expect to see.

I ended up buying the Turtle shirt and book of another one of his delightful strips Turtle Vs Bunny!

I also found this excellent Duck Tales print by Craig Parrillo:

I found an amazingly dense Goonies print by Jim Horwat with more tiny references to different scenes in the movie (and the NES game!) than I could list here. He's also got a TOTALLY rad Evil Dead 2 print on his website that I'm considering ordering.

Then... then I found the COOLEST table at the whole show. These three guys were all holed up together, selling these prints, and I walked away with about a million pieces.

First is Scott Derby, who did this amazing Shaun of the Dead poster:

I love the color and overall claustrophobic design of the piece. Plus the Simon Pegg is adorable.

Then I met Tom Whalen, who was selling these other movie poster remakes, and he was selling one particular set I couldn't resist picking up:

While I was waiting for him to flip through, I also couldn't resist picking up this print of Earth's Mightiest Heroes:

And the third artist at this table, the man who got the most money out of me, was Dave Perillo, and well, I can't talk about all the pieces I got from him, so here they are in all their awesomeness.

These guys were all incredibly talented, incredibly nice, and I was really happy to have met them. Now I just need to figure out how to frame and where to put all this...

Anyway, tonight is Kaiju Big Battle and then I plan to just wander around Philly for a few days, but I wanted to take a minute and share my swag.

-casey-

*Yes, I know that means have an affair with a young black man.

Game Designer weekly E-Mail #1 - E3

This is the first in a series of weely e-mail exchanges between game designers about upcoming events (Like this one! E3) trends in games (a move towards more casual play for example), or just what we feel like discussing at a given time (the perfect taco, or where one might get said taco).

Your participants are designers Dan Teasdale, Chris Foster, myself, Sylvain Dubrofsky, and eventually Grace Williams.

These e-mails were exchanged pre-E3, so read them and see how the real thing matched up with our expectations!

Dan Teasdale

Okay, let’s try kicking off this whole email design thing with something that’s sure to cause contention. I am a classy gent, after all.

E3 is next week. It’s the return of the huge 40,000 person behemoths of old, complete with 8 hours of doof and awkward-looking booth babes. What is everyone looking forward to? Any games that are off most people’s radars that you think will be awesome? Any trends you hope to see, or not see?

Casey Malone

Well, this is my first E3, so I'm expecting an orgy of decadence the likes of which even David Bowie or Robert Evans would back away from slowly.

Seriously, though, growing up reading about and imagining the floor of E3 I'm not sure what's coming; is it going to be full of multimillion dollar booths with lights, decorations, props, costumes and fun like Disney World or is it going to be a starkly lit nightmare full of cranky nerds and too-loud music like Euro Disney? I'll let the old hands at this convention thing take guesses towards that.

I guess what excites me the most is seeing what some of my favorite developers are bringing; I have been itching to get my hands on the next game from DoubleFine since the moment I finished* Psychonauts, so I'll be rushing to try Brutal Legend. I'm hoping that Warren Spector brings his long-rumored Mickey Mouse game, so I can at least get a look at what he's bringing to the Disney universe. I want to try out The Legend of Zelda: We Love Toy Trains Edition**, because I have no idea what's happening with this title. And I will proudly wear the badge of the only Harmonix designer who is excited at whatever new game Kojima Productions is working on; yes, I'm sure they'll announce MGS4 for 360, but I'm really crossing my fingers they're bringing something else with them.

As for games that'll secretly steal the show? I think people are going to walk away from Scribblenauts amazed - and no, I don't just love games with "nauts" in the title. And I don't mean to get all "blow our own horn-y"***, but I think The Beatles: Rock Band is going to make jaws hit the floor.

The trend I really want to see and also want to see avoided is sort of a contradiction - I want to see less of a casual market taking over the games industry and instead see games move more towards accepting a casual audience. I mean fewer fitness and weight loss products, and more games that have bright friendly art direction and no lose conditions. Fewer mini-game collections and more intuitive controls. I want to see game makers trending away from the hardcore, but not the point where we lose focus of what makes games fun - interactive fantasies we can provide that movies can't. If the focus of E3 is on experiences like that instead of the gritty FPSs of the world, I'll be really excited for gaming in the next year.


* I never finished Psychonauts, but instead had to watch a friend finish it. Damned Meat Circus.
**Which Dan will tell you he designed a decade ago, I'm sure.
*** There was a better way to say that, I'm sure.

Dan Teasdale

Casey, you have reminded me of Scribblenauts and made me throw in my 0.02c for that as potential dark horse of the year. I'm really curious to see how deep the vocabulary is. Maybe they're really smart about it and target common words plus people's playtest list? I heard that's how Al Lowe did the vocabulary in the first Leisure Suit Larry, and it seemed to work pretty well in being a jerk to me because of it.

I loved E3 the first few times I went. As a game nerd, having everything you want to play on a show floor is awesome. I'm pretty sure this will be the Casey experience. Then, I demoed a game with a 15 minute linear demo for three days and got to see the seedy underbelly of E3, and now I'm a curmudgeonly old jerk. This will probably be the Sylvain experience.

This curmudgeonliness has raised a question in my head: Do we need E3 anymore?

The justification about Ye Olde E3 was that it was a single location that publishers could meet with retailers to buy shelf space for the holidays. Sure, there was a nice side bonus of all the people attending getting to play each other's games and see in action upcoming trends, but the only reason you were flown out there was so that you could guide your hastily-duct taped demo for the King of Walmart*, who would then decree the amount of shelf space you'd get in November.

In the break between Ye Olde E3 and this year's E3, the publishers figured out news ways to talk to developers and vice versa - shows like EA3 and the GameStop Manager's Conference took the place. Bloggers picked up video cameras, thereby negating the need for me to walk the floor or wait in a three hour line. Services like Steam and the first party marketplaces have meant that shelf space isn't a problem, so they can focus on spending their marketing budget towards players rather than wooing retailers ($1mil+ on a booth for E3 2006, EA? Really?) Games like Bioshock have proven that you don't have to come out in the holidays (or be held over to March 31) to be successful.

My gut is that while it'll be a good press boost, it's going to be more like Harrison Ford in Crystal Skull than it is Harrison Ford in Raiders. We'll see this old format played out, realise that it was great before, but that as an industry we've grown since then and that our needs for an expo need to be different if we're going to treat it as a PR festival rather than a distributor pimpathon.

To end on a cheery note, my predictions for E3:
* Brutal Legend blows peoples brains open
* The Beatles: Rock Band gets nominated for an E3 Critics Choice award.
* The most popular booth will be the Target relax-and-feed-me-snacks lounge.

-DanT

*I'm assuming he's your king, or at the very least your Governor General.

Chris Foster

Between being seven months into Raise-A-Baby-Quest, and only now getting de-Beatled after over a year in the Rock Band mines, I'm going into this E3 fairly cold and devoid of specific expectations.

But while it's been a few years since my last E3, I do have my memories. I think my first significant recollection of E3 (though maybe it was an ECTS from the same year) is seeing this mindblowing, totally unexpected 3D console called the "PlayStation." I particularly remember that they demoed Ridge Racer using these weird pre-Dualshock analog controllers from Namco called NegCon, where you steered by twisting one half of a split controller while holding the other half.

I also remember, a year or so later, the massive robot-spider both that Scavenger Software used to present their dozen games and game demos-in-progress. I think that spider-booth was pretty much the only concrete thing they ever actually shipped.

I also remember the multiple appearances of the Gathering of Developers outside E3 at their personal trailer park -- though I never personally visited due to a pathological distrust of strippers and loud people.

I guess that covers the range of experiences I'm hoping for. I'd love to be wowed by something as monumental and game-changing as it is unexpected. I'll also keeping an eye out for those companies where you catch glimpses of a massive train wreck to come, if only in hindsight. And I'm expecting to see things that I will immediately wish that I could unsee.

E3, how I've missed you.

Sylvain Dubrofsky

Hey I remember that E3 booth that you manned Dan. I was actually really looking forward to DAH after that presentation.

I'm really excited E3 is back in the form I remember. I've been in the industry for almost 10 years. I think I went to E3 in years 2-7. At first it was a similar experience to going to a big out-of-town concert. The first couple industry jobs I had wouldn't pay for us, so we'd get our own flights, share beds in hotels, and take vacation days. By the end I have been spoiled getting my flights, hotel room, and per diem covered.

There is one common experience with all my E3 visits. Exhaustion after it's all over. As much as I love it, I'm sure I'll get massive headaches, muscle soreness, and extreme lack of sleep. This year that will be mitigated by my excitement showing off our HMX games which I'm tremendously proud of.

Ok enough history. To the games! I'll be on my usual hunt for obscure titles that may not have received enough coverage. The truth is, besides actually playing the games, you can get a large picture at home in front of a computer or watching G4. That's why I'm gonna do my best to actually play the games while I'm there and have free time.

Things I wanna play if they are there:
Modern Warfare 2
Halo: ODST
Half Life 2: Episode 3
Batman Arkham Asylum
Splinter Cell Conviction
Trico
Madden
Starcraft 2
Anybody else's music games

Casey, I find it odd that you mention FPS-sequel-X as a problem but are excited by yet another Metal Gear. Everyone has their things they enjoy (I'm always excited to try each new Madden, or anything by Valve, Bungie, Infinity Ward, Epic...). I personally don't get the fandom behind the regular E3 trailer of the next Metal Gear or Final Fantasy but I don't see it as something that takes away my excitement.

And with that, we got ready to do E3 prep and other projects, and our first e-mail exchange ended. Tune in next Sunday for hopefully our next installment.

-casey-

Audio Booin' The HMX After Party

Here is the links to the audio boos for the E3 After Party!

Nate Stoddard:
http://audioboo.fm/boos/27746-nate-stoddard

John Drake:
http://audioboo.fm/boos/27749-john-drake

Hope's P!nk Sweater:
http://audioboo.fm/boos/27751-hope-s-p-nk-sweater

Josh Randal & Stephanie Myers:
http://audioboo.fm/boos/27752-josh-steph

HMXHenry:
http://audioboo.fm/boos/27758-hmxhenry

HMXPope, HMXVeng, & HMXThrasher:
http://audioboo.fm/boos/27761-pope-veng-and-thrasher

John Pardo & HarmonixSean (It got cut off :-( )
http://audioboo.fm/boos/27772-half-a-boo

Caleb Epps (@Nekkobus)
http://audioboo.fm/boos/27776-nekkobus

Me! My thoughts!*
http://audioboo.fm/boos/27780-me

*Sorry about the million "Um..."s. It's late at night and I am sleepy.

I Have Never Been So Excited for a Solicitation In My Life

Ladies. Gentlemen. ESPECIALLY the gentlemen.

I give you... MARVEL BROMANCE:

"If This Be Bromance--! Marvel's greatest buddies take the spotlight in this one-of-a-kind collection, and it's male bonding like you've never seen -- as Cable and Deadpool swap stories, Wonder Man and the Beast share a plane ride, Spidey and the Human Torch battle back-to-back, Wolverine makes a bet with Nightcrawler, Black Panther and Everett Ross lay their feelings on the line...and the Warriors Three set sail for fun! Plus: Captain America and the Falcon, Iron Man and Jim Rhodes, and more! Be here as Marvel says, 'I love you, man!' "

Amazing. 

I honestly don't know why they don't just change the title of every Power Man & Iron Fist collection to "DUDE-GRABS: HEROES FOR HIRE."

-casey-

Joe Quesada Says: Ladies, Give Me Your Money And Shut Up

It's not often that I come across a quote from a major comic book creator that makes me go, "AAAAAAARGHSASHALBARGLRLE" with murderous fury and terrible rage. The reasons for this is that my expectations for socially progressive statements from the big two comic companies are staggeringly low.

So when a reader came out and said that this cover to "Marvel Divas" was sexist, I was extra impressed by Joe Q's reply ;

"If you’re Marvel reader and truly feel we’re sexist, then why are you reading our books?  Now, perhaps you’re not a Marvel reader, then if that’s the case, I’m not quite sure what you’re criticizing if you don’t read our books?"

Putting aside that the reader was concerned about an image, something that can be critiqued as soon as someone views it, this defense is completely bulletproof. I'm sorry, I meant "bullshit". Completely bullshit.

If you are buying Marvel Comics, perhaps because you enjoy some of the characters they have exclusive rights too, then you've immediately lost the right to question any subject matter in those comics. But if you're not reading them, perhaps because you found the cover of a comic you'd otherwise be interested in too demeaning to women, then your opinion is again invalid. Basically, this statement says; ladies, give me your money and shut up.

Now, to his credit, Joe Q goes on to give an industry answer to this issue; that if the book launched with a less sex-laden cover, it would never sell. He even goes so far as to say that "the book would be canceled before it hits the shelves,*" and defends the cover, saying "Is the cover image provocative, perhaps, but it’s no more or less than any other book we do."

I find this interesting, because by saying this, Joe Q acknowledges what he's denied the reader the ability to point out - that there is something wrong here, it's the industry standard, and what's more it's The Marvel Standard. A standard that they, with their huge market share and some of the most popular and iconic characters in the world, could fight against. A standard that they have no intention of ever challenging.

I don't know about you, but I don't want a comic company that's going to grumble, "Yeah, yeah, we know that we're not great to women, but what are we supposed to do?" and pushes Incompetent Professional She-Hulk and Domesticated Mary Jane statues on me. And I certainly don't want one that's going to tell me to shut up while they're doing it.

-casey-

* All I have to say to this is, "28 Issue Run."

Geoff Klock on Watchmen

So I have my own thoughts about Watchmen, but I wanted to first post some thoughts that Dr. Klock had over at Remarkable that I found spot-on:

I am wondering if the thing that makes Watchmen unfilmable is the fact that you cannot make superhero violence look anything other than sexy, at least because it requires a massive budget and budget means people who are not going to let you do violence in a depressing way. [...] Watchmen the comic is not supposed to deliver that particular thrill, but the movie does, and how can I fault a movie for delivering a thrill? [...] It is a mess and I would hardly hold it up as an example of great filmmaking; but to deny I had fun would just be dishonest, even if it makes me look foolish. I would recommend it to people only on this superficial level; as an intellectual thing, as a hunt to re-experience the craft and thematics of the book, avoid it I think. 

More on this from me, soon, but in the mean time check out Dr. Klock's blog for other interesting pop-culture commentary. 

Remarkable: Short Appreciations of Poetry and Pop-Culture

-casey-

Digital Dollars

Looks like I need to add some money to my Playstation Wallet and buy some Microsoft Imaginary Space Bucks. The downloadable content that's been released in the past week has been darn near insane in both scope and quality. 


Here's a rundown of what I'm picking up:

• Prince of Persia: Epilogue
• Mirror's Edge Time Trial Pack
• Noby Noby Boy
• Flower*
• Burnout Legendary Car Pack

As someone who only ever spends his money on whole Xbox Live Arcade games and Rock Band tracks, this is a whole lot of expansion content for one week. 

You'll also notice that Grand Theft Auto: The Lost and the Damned is not on that list. I will definitely be getting into why in a later post.

What expansion content do you guys buy? I'm curious if releasing stuff like this gets people to hold onto games they'd otherwise trade/lend/use as costers...

-casey-

*Yes, I bought this last week, but it was in the calendar week, so I'm adding it to the list!

Ninja-Star Power

I got stuck in Best Buy waiting for a friend today and ended up sorting through the DS games.

On the heels of the Rock Band PSP announcement today, I was surprised to discover that there is another, possibly more AWESOME portable music game that already exists;

Someone. ANYONE. Please make this happen. 

-casey-

Burnout: Paradise - "Panama" > "Paradise City"

I have been playing hell of Burnout: Paradise this weekend.

It's amazing how much I'm enjoying it, as I hate driving in general*, and driving GAMES specifically. But Criterion manages to take all the things that normally drag other games down - the simulation style controls, crashing once ruining your good time, and generally just smashing your opponents - and make it their trademark. Well done. Add on all the free content and DLC that they've put onto their platform and Burnout: Paradise quickly becomes an amazing game and an even more amazing achievement for a developer.

I do, however, have one beef with the game: The soundtrack.

Luckily, both platforms allow you to play your own damn music.

So presented here, in full, is my soundtrack for Burnout: Paradise. I shuffle the hell out of them, so pay no attention to the order. But know that all 48 of these tracks are perfectly suited for driving the hell out of cars. 

1. Panama - Van Halen**
2. Circle, Square, Triange - Test Icicles
3. Out of My Mind - The Konks
4. Back in Black - The Hives
5. Pump It Up - Elvis Costello
6. OLE! - The Bouncing Souls
7. PDA - Interpol
8. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne***
9. Ms. Fat Booty - Mos Def
10. Nausea - Beck
11. Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love - Van Halen
12. Random - Lady Sovereign
13. Lyrical Swords - GZA & Ras Kass
14. Song 2 - Blur
15. Rock N Roll Train - AC/DC
16. Dancing Queen - Abba
17. Stayin' Alive - The Bee Gees
18. She Sells Sanctuary - The Cult
19. Positive Contact - Deltron 3030
20. Method Man - Wu Tang Clan
21. Here's Your Future - The Thermals
22. Troublemaker - Weezer
23. Bad Scene, Everyone's Fault - Jawbreaker
24. Do You Want To? - Franz Ferdinand
25. Bone Machine - Pixies
26. This is a Call - Foo Fighters
27. Teen Age Riot - Sonic Youth
28. Helter Skelter - The Beatles
29. Just a Gigolo (I Ain't Got Nobody) - David Lee Roth
30. Shimmy Shimmy Ya - Old Dirty Bastard
31. Hello There (Steve Albini Version) - Cheap Trick
32. The Power Is On - The Go! Team
33. Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen
34. 99 Problems (Helter Skelter Mix) - Danger Mouse
35. Kiss Off - Violent Femmes
36. Tick Tick Boom - The Hives
37. American Hearts - Piebald
38. Hold Music - Architecture in Helsinki
39. Beat It - Michael Jackson
40. Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen
41. Perfect Hair - Danger Doom
42. The Final Countdown - Europe
43. The Militia - Gang Starr
44. You Vandal - Saves the Day
45. Dirt of Your Shoulder - Jay-Z
46. Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
    
47. Baba O'Riley - The Who
48. Highway to Hell - AC/DC
    

And with that, I return to Paradise City to smash things to tiny bits. 

I suggest you do the same.

-casey-

*I don't even have my license for realsies.
** Despite "Paradise City" by Guns N Roses being on disc, Panama by Van Halen is the perfect song for this game. PERFECT. 
*** Look, I seriously don't even want to hear about it, okay?

President Elect Barack Obama

Tonight, the night of Barack Obama's acceptance speech, I'm 26 years old. Raised by The Simpsons and taught quips by Mystery Science Theater, my generation is one that views everything through thick lenses of irony, touches everything through a heavy sheet of sarcasm. A group of friends gathered together to watch the election results ebb into CNN and throughout the night, hopeful and excited as we were, we mocked. 

We mocked presenters, gaffs in speeches, graphics and a Will I. Am hologram. This was a process we had all been excited about, an election that promised nothing but hope for all in the room, something of unprecedented importance in our adult lives, and we still mocked.

Then President Elect Obama came behind the podium, and began to speak. More than that, mere minutes after he was chosen by the American people, he began to lead.

While I could tell you many things about my reaction to this -  how I felt finally touched by this candidate who I'd listened to for months, how I was actually moved to tears, how amazed I felt to have a candidate who has won not instantly forget all he'd said for months - what is most telling is that for the duration of President Elect Obama's speech my friends and I sat in dead silence.

Not a word. Not a quip. No gentle teasing of someone in the crowd. 

For once I feel like someone has lifted the protective veil from the people of my generation and we're allowed to feel something patriotic and genuine all at the same time.

Thank you, Mr. Obama, if for nothing else, then for that.

-casey-

Coming Next: "Guy Holding Boom Mic" Star Wars Masterpiece Figure

You know, as a huge fan of characters like Blue Beetle, I can understand rooting for the minor characters. Sometimes they're more interesting or fun than the big guns. But I mean... Really? 

My friend Aaron likes to say "We all spend our money in different ways," but come on... Captian Antilles? The only thing dude did was get choked by Vader. Maybe I can cash in on this...

Coming soon from Casey Studios - 

Showcase Replica of that Sandwich a Jawa Ate From the Craft Table 

$79.99, Shipping Q4 2009

-casey-

Workplace Harassment: Dan Teasdale Edition

My office mate Dan ordered a Macbook Pro when they announced them a few weeks ago. Sadly, for him, it was broken. He sent it back, and then was swept away on a whirlwind press tour of Europe for our job.

Since he left there has been a steady buildup of packages delivered to his desk.

(read from bottom to top)

Casey Malone: Dedicated to being a jerk from a continent away.

-casey-

The E-Mail Saga of Casey & Earle

A few days ago a friend of mine directed me to a Craigslist post for the following rug: 

Yes, my friends. A Pac-Man rug. It also doubles as a Pac-Man game! At nineteen dollars, I had to have it. 


What I didn't know is that the man selling it was crazy, and that a simple copy-and-paste error would turn the process of buying a crazy trinket off of craigslist into three days of threatening voicemails and craaaaaaazy e-mails. 

Presented to you,with all of it's original formatting intact, is...

 The E-Mail Saga of Casey & Earl

Casey Malone to (craigslist e-mail):
Hi!
Is the Pac-Man game still available? I am VERY Interested in it!
Thanks,
Casey
339-2**-0***

A man named Earl calls me, and I tell him I'm interested in picking up the rug. He is skeptical about my sincere interest in the rug, for no reason apparent to me, but tells me that he'll e-mail me with a landmark near his home. Apparently he'll e-mail me a time to be there, and if I am at this landmark, he will direct me to his home. 

Earle does not give me any contact information of his own. 

I receive the e-mail with the location and time.

Earle to me:
THE NEAREST LANDMARK CLOSEST TO MY LOCALE WOULD BE THE WHITE HEN PANTRY
@ 56 RIVER STREET IN 01832
FIND THAT & YOU WILL KNOW HOW TO GET THERE
I WILL CALL YOU AROUND 4PM TOMORROW TO BE SURE WHETHER YOU ARE COMING OR NOT
IF I DON'T REACH YOU: I WILL NOT BE SURPRISED ( AS IT APPEARS TO BE A TREND OF SORTS WITH CALLER FROM CL; PRANKSTER "KIDS" ACTING AS IF THEY WANT TO BUY SOMETHING AND THEN DISAPPEARING LIKE GHOSTS)  NOT TO SAY tHAT THIS WOULD BE YOU BUT ONE NEVER KNOWS.
THANKS "CASEY"
TALK TO YOU TOMORROW!
SORRY IF I SOUND "SKEPTICAL" BUT THAT'S THE WAY CRAIGSLIST REPLIES TEND TO MAKE YOU.  SKEPTICAL.  ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT SAY THEY'LL "STOP BY" THEY USUALLY DON'T. STRANGE PEOPLE IN A STRANGE WORLD. I THINK SOME SIMPLY REPLY TO ADS BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO REAL LIFE OR FRIENDS AND IT IS
THEIR FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT SOMEHOW.  OH WELL!  NO BIG DEAL. SOME DAY
THEY'LL GROW UP & GET A LIFE.  RIGHT?
HAVE A NICE DAY!

I'm a little confused by this e-mail, but nonetheless want that swank-ass rug. I go about my day, which at the moment involves occasionally checking the craigslist personals section.* One lady posted a really sweet ad about watching movies, going to shows, and playing videogames, which as you may notice is right up my alley. I send her a reply. Except... I don't. Instead of hearing back from a lady, I receive the following e-mail...

Earle to me:
ah, hey dude!
you just sent me an e-mail like it was a personal ad
kinda creepy!!
you had curly hair and glasses sitting next to someone with a light blue top & a straw type cowboy hat on
ah, whats up with that?
i'm a littleconfused and a little creeped out
i don't know why you would reply to my rug/game ad as if it were a personal
i'm a GUY anyways!!
LOL
so: let me know....what's up with that bud?
thanks
Earle

This about sums up my embarrassment. 

Casey Malone to Earle:
Ahhh... this is super awkward.
Basically, I copied and pasted your craigslist e-mail (sale-88481***@craigslist.org) and responded to you.
Then I opened up another ad, THOUGHT THAT I copied and pasted THAT e-mail
address into g-mail, but  I guess my computer never copied it, and just re-pasted your generic craigslist e-mail address into gmail.

Sorry about that, it was definitely not meant to go to you.  I guess it could have been worse?
 Again, sorry. Again, awkward.

-casey-

Earle to me:
yeah whatever..LOL
I just thought it was kinda creepy gettin a pick-up line from another
guy!!
I can imagine how you musta felt when you saw MY e-mail to you about
it!!!
LOL
no damage
BUT.....it was kinda funny
don't worry...I'm secure & I feel safe!!
have a good night
I'll call ya tomorrow

I go to bed, sleeping the sleep of a man who thinks he's getting a Pac-Man rug. The next day, I end up stuck in a meeting until after 4, the very time Earle was supposed to call me. As much as I like Pac-Man, I like my job more, so I didn't answer and instead let it go to voice-mail. 

The message left is angry, ranty, and condemns me for not living up to my "responsibilities" and "the commitment" I made. Earle leaves no number for me to contact him at. He instead promises he'll call me back at 5. I wait for his call, but at 5:15 I decide to head home. 

While on the subway, Earle gets my voice-mail a second time, and does not take kindly to it. He now sounds sad, but still like a nut-bar, and when I hear his second voice-mail that promises a third call at 7, I decide I don't really want to meet this man in a parking lot somewhere by myself. He calls at 7:40. I don't pick up. Earle isn't done with me.

Earle to me:
E-MAILED YOU YESTERDAY WITH WHAT THE PLAN WAS REGARDING YOUR ALLEGED INTEREST IN THE PAC-MAN RUG/BOARD GAME.  I CALLED YOU AT 4:30 ISH AND THEN AGAIN AROUND 5:45 ISH AND THEN AGAIN AT 7:30 ISH.  LEFT CASEY MALONE THREE MESSAGES BECAUSE YOU WOULD NOT PICK UP! SO: SEEING AS YOU DID NOT PICK UP ON THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS: THE BALL LIES IN YOUR COURT.  YOU CAN REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL IF YOU REALLY ARE INTERESTED.
    I AM NOT GOING TO CHASE ANYONE. YOU CONTACTED ME. REMEMBER?  SO NOW I SIT AND WONDER AS TO THE ACTUAL LEGITIMACY OF YOUR INQUIRY.  I GUESS I WILL SIMPLY SIT BACK AND SEE IF THE E-PLY COMES.  IF NOT.  WHATEVER. I WILL NOT BE CALLING AGAIN.  I DID MY PART. X 3! ALL SET.
      TAKE CARE & HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
GOD THIS IS SOOOO TYPICAL OF 50 TO 60 % OF C L REPLIES.
ALL I CAN ASK IS:  "WHY"?
GOD ONLY KNOWS!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah. I don't reply to this e-mail. I go to bed. The next morning, I get this...

Earle to me:
next time don't waste my friggin time you fruitcake creep
i called you 4 times the day you CLAIMED you were going to show
WEIRDO!

C.C.: FILED (C.L. HARASSMENT)

It's important to note, he didn't actually CC anyone... he simply typed "C.C." into the e-mail. 
I feel compelled to reply to this.

Casey Malone to Earle:
Earle,

I want to let you know, the reason I didn't pick up is that I was in a meeting at work during your first call. I listened to your voicemail, and found it vaguely threatening and overtly hostile, and decided it was a better idea to not deal with you.

Over the course of 2 more voicemails and a couple more e-mails I was proved correct.

Next time, relax more, and understand that no one is trying to scam you out of a $19 dollar rug.

-Casey-

Then, the final chapter of the saga... 

 Earle  to me:
damn man...you ARE a friggin weirdo
i think you actually WERE trying to pick me up the other day
dude, you ARE scary and i believe you ARE dangerous
DO NOT CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN OR I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CONSIDER IT THREATENING AND WILL IMMEDIATELY SEEK LEGAL REMEDY
1ST WARNING & ONLY WARNING!!!
GO AWAY
FAR FAR AWAY!!!
CREEP!
C.C.: CRAIGSLIST (HARASSMENT/THREATENING/ABUSIVE)

I don't know if there's a moral to the story. But that people still fear the internet enough to type in bold, red courier is god-damn hilarious. 

-casey-

*Yes, this is embarrassing a little, but I wanted to give you guys the full picture, and this is key information. 

Sackboy to Nikko - FUCK YO COUCH

Little Big Planet - Game of the Year.

Respect Your Audience

I saw a comedian earlier tonight. 

He was okay, some good ideas, but his big problem was one I see a lot in pop-culture (TV, comics, movies); an assumption that your audience needs everything explained to them.

While this was a recurring thread throughout his set, there was one bit in particular that really highlighted this problem and frustrated me. Here is the start of the bit, to the best of my recollection:

"I do have a little bit of a drinking problem, but I try to strike a balance, so I exercise. I try to run a mile for every beer I drink. This only ever becomes a problem when I start dating a girl who's really into exercise, and she wants to know what I do to keep in shape... and I eventually tell her that I run five or six miles a day."

At this point in the bit several people in the audience, including me, laughed. We had all already made the jump from "run a mile for every beer I drink" to "run five or six miles a day." This was a pretty good joke.

The comedian, however, looked surprised, stopped his bit for the breifest of moments and actually said to the audience, "Huh, okay, well, that's not the funny part..." and then continued the bit. He continued this story for two or three more minutes, eventually getting to the punchline of  explaining to the audience again that those miles were based on the number of beers he drinks. 

Now, it's important to note that some people did laugh. It was a fairly small crowd of people (maybe 30), and some of them only laughed once the comic got to the end of the long-winded version. But for me at least, by making me wait for a few minutes, he lost me completely. By adding this hand-holding two minutes to the end, the bit became inelegant, his tone seemed to change to condescending, and I became bored with it.

This sort of thinking, that people are too dumb to keep up, has permeated pop-culture, and serves as a reminder that reaching the "lowest common denominator" is something that can come from form as well as content. 

When creators dodge this, when they trust people are capable of understanding their work, then audiences more often feel engaged rather than confused, and focus harder to have a real dialog with that work. And when that connection is made, it's usually far stronger than had everything been spelled out for them.
  
If this comic trusted his audience more to be able to keep up with him, he might have gotten one big laugh instead of splitting it and losing half the audience, gotten an additional two minutes to squeeze a new bit into, and maybe gotten a new fan. Instead he just got a few small chuckles, an extra two minutes of no punch lines, and me blogging about how crappy his routine was.

Respect your audience and we'll respect you back.

-casey-

Let's Play The X-Men Guessing Game

Hey kids! 

Like I said in title, let's play the X-Men Guessing Game!

Q: Based on this panel from Uncanny X-Men #502...

...is Dazzler - 

A: Dizzy from holding her breath, and leaning against the door for support?
B: Posing like that to distract from what is a really bad X-Men costume*?
C: Traced from porn?

To get the answer, just drop a line to Marvel Comics at this link, and I'm sure they'll let you know!

-casey-

*And that's saying something.

For anyone wondering why the posts have been slow...

BLAME THIS ASSHOLE.

Missing the Point - Marvel Noir Part 2

Hey kids! Remember this post?

Well, our old pals at Marvel have put out the December solicitation for the first issue! Let's take a look...

"X MEN NOIR #1 (of 4)

Written by FRED VAN LENTE

Pencils & Cover by DENNIS CALERO

Variant Cover by DENNIS CALERO

"The coroner's men flipped the redheaded corpse over so Dukes and Magnus from Homicide could get a better look at her. 'Better' being a relative term in this case, with the claw marks that slashed her face into a featureless, bloody mask and turned her guts into a butcher shop explosion.

"But the tattoo -- the simple, encircled 'X' above the left shoulder blade -- remained intact, and Dukes pointed it out with the toe of his wingtip once Peter the rookie was done heaving up lunch.

"'See this ink?' he said. 'Means she did time at this reform school upstate, run by this shrink, Xavier...'"

32 PGS./Parental Advisory ...$3.99"

I think the writing here can be summed up by the following phrase: 

Butcher shop explosion. 

Butcher shop explosion. 

BUTCHER. SHOP. EXPLOSION.

Or, to demonstrate visually - 

-casey-